Cissexist and Transphobic

“I won’t date a trans___ because they don’t have  {insert genitalia}.”

First of all, does a person’s personality matter to you? Second of all, you’re basically saying that your partner has to fit into your own norms of sex/gender before having a good chemistry with you, morals, standards or anything you’d most likely expect from a cisgender person.



As a general rule of thumb, don’t use the terms tranny, manwoman, he/she.

You’re essentially not validating and spitting in the face of a trans person, especially if you’re a cisgender person saying this.



“What {genitalia/sex organs} do you have?”   Answer: inappropriate

“What bathroom do you use?”  Answer: the one at my house

“What were you born as?”’   Answer: a human being

“What is your REAL name? You know, your birth name?”

When asking a trans person trans-specific questions, it’s best to think before you ask them.

Do I need to know?

These questions may trigger bad memories, dysphoria, a general sense of uncomfortableness, etc. in a trans person. If you’re just satisfying your anxiety then it probably isn’t necessary for you to know. If you’re about to have sex and you are wondering about their genitalia, then it would be one of those rare times where it is okay to ask.



Using heshe or it pronouns.

Using those pronouns is dehumanizing a trans person and very offensive. There are some trans people who use “it” but, in general, it’s seen as very rude. If you’re unsure of what someone’s pronouns in the process of meeting someone, just state your own pronouns and ask what there’s are. It’s as simple as that.



When a person says “they will only accept a trans person if they conform to stereotypes of their gender or ‘passing’.”

Passing: when a trans person’s perceived  by those around them matches their gender identity (something gender queer/non-binary trans people rarely have the privilege to do).

It sets an unrealistic standard for trans people to meet which many cisgender people aren’t even expected of. Many trans people can’t pass even if they wanted to whether it be for a lack of money or they don’t want to change their bodies. While much of society pretends to welcome all trans people, in reality, it only welcomes a few.


Casual Cissexism

This happens when you assume that everyone is cisgender. An example of this is sexual health resources which assume that all women have only certain private parts and men have another set of private parts. The resource fails to include transgender and intersex people. While these major failures may not have been intentional. The organization or group of people may have forgotten or didn’t know better but it is still a mistake that can do a lot of harm if people do not become more aware.






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This is what the club calls a Living Database which should adapt to the changing needs of our time. In previous decades, certain sexual/romantic orientation, intersex and gender identities didn’t exist because of the lack of talk and representation. The club website will do it’s best to pick up on all the new terms and concepts that are coming out, it is run mostly by 1 person so if something new has come up. It would be AMAZING and much appreciated if you could comment below in whatever language you find preferable (English would be best for the quickest response though). We would most appreciate criticisms, resources, additional information that we missed or any topic that you believe this website should address which it hasn’t. Art, movies, comic books and representation are also considered resources. In addition, if you have questions about the content, feel free to ask questions whether it is through email (check out Contact Us, Doe Mori is the best contact) or commenting below.
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